My First Happy Meal

Much to Mom's dismay, after running errands around town, I convinced her to go through the drive-thru today to score me some of that fast food they are constantly advertising on billboards, TV, and other sources of media. Since I now have my four front teeth, Mom ordered me what she thought any kid would eat - a cheeseburger, french fries, and a vanilla milkshake. Mom stole a fry from the bag after paying the nice lady and put the car back into gear to take us home, where I would be able to enjoy my first taste of fast food!

The fragrant scent of grease and meat filled the shallow atmosphere of the car for the entire mile home. The fries were so hot that they created a silhouette of grease on the outer surface bag. The milkshake was portioned so generously that the silky vanilla goodness poured out of the straw hole. I just HAD to have some of this fast food!

Upon arriving home, I was so excited to try this artery-blocking pile of yum, that I squealed in delight upon hearing the parking brake set. Mom got out of the car, taking the steamy food to the inside of the door before loosing me from my inner-car restraint. The whole while she was transporting the goods from car to house, I still smelled that 10-year-old fryer smell settling into the upholstery of Mom's car.

Inside, the gate was secured and Mom slowly reached into the bag to obtain my lunch - the fries came first (and another was placed into her mouth) and were set on a "big person" plate. Next came the cheeseburger, which was taken out of its wax paper sheath and placed next to the mound of french fries on that same plate. It was now time to eat.

I sat on the floor and, in one sweep, had a handful of fries, ready to go down the ole' hatch. I took one deliberate bite, then another (all the while, having a look of uncertaintly on my face) and was INCREDIBLY disappointed! Next, Mom tried to help me with the cheeseburger, but I couldn't stand that even more, and spit it onto the floor! Although I came out with a repitition of glottal "DADADA", I was actually saying that I thought this stuff was absolute bilge and shouldn't even be fed to the garbage disposal, where it eventually ended up (after Mom stole yet another french fry). YUCK!!!

Fortunately for me, I did enjoy the milkshake. But then again, I have never met a form of ice cream that I did not like!!